The Daily Anal

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Nintendo vs Sega in 2016

Think back to your childhood.  That carefree time where you frolicked and played on the ever-so-slight-but-not-really paved, whatever it was, in place of a sidewalk.  You probably did things like played ball or jacks.  Ah yes, minus that part where your uncle raped you, this was the high point of your life.  

Assuming this childhood took place in the 80’s and 90’s, you may remember the great video game war between Nintendo and Sega.  Nintendo with their off-white but probably grey(gray) consoles featuring everyone’s video game characters; Mario, Megaman, Simon Belmont.  Sega, their black consoles, “blast processing” and well, Sonic the Hedgehog.  8 or 16 bits, enhancements and add-ons, videogame gimmickry we can only dream of now… in 2016.

All of this entertainment wonderment, and what did it get us?  Well, the first “meme” war, of course, though back in the day we didn’t have the internet, so let’s just call them ‘commercials’.  Sega would slam Nintendo, showing how ‘slow’ their console was relative to their unstoppable quickness (and attitude).  Nintendo would simply bitch-slap Sega with it’s long term dominance in a market that Sega, frankly, had never kept up in.  Back and forth it went, tit for tat, tat for tit.  Sega cuts down Nintendo… and Nintendo takes no shit from Sega.

But what many of us didn’t realize until much later is that both companies were lying to us.  Err, I mean, they were marketing to us.  For example, Nintendo was indeed a ‘faster’ console – it had more powerful hardware that could do more stuff.  Sega had better add-ons and they certainly weren’t lying about their “attitude”.  But there were more lies?  Why did Nintendo have all those franchises that Sega didn’t?  Because their system was better?  Of course not, they forced their third parties into a contract that effectively gave them a monopoly – and this ended after an anti-trust suit filed in the mid-90s.  

So much lying?  And who won?  With so much blood shed between the two sides, someone must have won right?  Something must have come from all of this turmoil?

Who knows, really.  I had a turbografx-16 that did it all and then some; it also didn’t need any memes to show it’s worth.  A game system that was awesome, had awesome games, and didn’t mind if you played Nintendo and/or Sega, too.